Kingdom Hearts 3582 Days: The Abridged Days
by SymphonicMetalChocobos
Summary: Its Kingdom hearts, 358/2 days gone retarded. Features robot chicken, family guy, mindless violence, werewolves and everything in between! Rated M for strong launguage, sexual references, and extreme violence
1. Days 7 and 8

This my retarded version of 358/2 days.

Disclaimer:i don't own.

Dearly Beloved plays as the player selects new game. Then you choose you difficulty level. Thinking they're up to the challenge, the player picks Proud level.

The Star Wars theme plays dramaticly as long credits of who is in this story play out.

"Alright enough!"

In the short span of 13 seconds, Utada Hikaru sings 'My Sanctuary', some guy in a black cloak starts talking, and a train kills three kittens.

"Heartless, collecting hearts.." The guy is singing like fucking elvis. To sum it up in a few words, 12 people and 1 werewolf are sitting on chairs at extremely unsafe heights in a room. One is sitting really low.

There is a window next to one that is sitting in a really low chair. A vampire appears in it.

"O . O" The Guy's eyes grow to the size of plates.

"Furries in a blender..." The Vampire says.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The Guy starts screaming and convulsing.

"Wez have a new member.." The guy on the tallest, most unsafe chair says.

On the floor, everyone sees a a black speck.

"Is it a ant?" A boy asked.

"No, retard. It's our new member. If you weren't all the way over there and the most important person, I'd jump on you like a spider monkey."

"Who is it!" The boy yelled.

"THAT'S IT!" The guy on the tallest chair leapt at the boy with his lightsabers. He proceeds to forget that he can't fly. And he falls.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'll get the stir-ups..."

"He's not having a baby!"

"Oh....I meant the concrete."

The new leader....INVADER ZIM!

"Meh peoplez!" ZIM yelled."Take off your hood, new human!"

The person took off its hood.

"WOW! It's Admiral Akbar!" A guy with a surfer accent shouted.

"Oh YEAH!" Admiral Akbar threw boxes of his cereal to evryone.

"It's Admiral Akbar cereal!"

"So Tasteful!"

"And Colorful!"

"Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this maginitude!" Admiral Akbar started doing the runningman.

"Roxas, are you sure you have no heart?"

"'...."

"Let's just go to another random scene that is sometime in the future, despite the fact that we have no idea what happened until that point.

"Okay."

Everything blacks out as the number 255 show up. They player sees to two guys, one with dangerously spikey red hair and a boy who's hair is wet and blond.

"What the hell!" He said."Why'd you give me a swirly?"

"Roxas, Do you know why the sun sets red?"

"Answer me, don't get off subject you porcupine!"

Axel stabs Roxas with his hair turning around.

"Say what?" Axel said.

"Good god..." Roxas moans.

"You're just like you were in the beginning. Aww, you couldn't even say a word." They laugh like maniacs.

"I'm dying...." Roxas coughed.

**TO BE CONTINUED.....**

Inside Roxas' mind...

Elevator music plays.

"Hmm, I'm sometime in the future....Now let's go back to day 7!"

"Why not day 1?" Peter Griffin said.

'I was dead then..."

"Okay!"

They is a whoosh and the number 255 starts winding back. Now the player is back to day 7. The player is slightly confused.

**DAY 7**

Roxas wakes up. He starts wondering around his room until he runs into a wall. Everyhting goes black and the player is now in a room. A set of dumb instructions block Roxas' path and make him be forced to read them. They tell him how to talk to people.

"HELL, I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT!" Roxas screamed.

There are four peoples in the room. A red haired guy, a blond chick, a blue haired guy, and some guy with grey stripes.

Roxas walked up to the guy with grey stripes, who was sitting on a counch for no appearent reason.

"Are you a racoon?" Roxas asked.

There is no response.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!" Roxas summoned his keyblade and smacked the guy onto the floor.

"What the hell?" The guy stands up and looked at Roxas.

"Are you my daddy?"

"No, I'm not. I'm a Werewolf. Name's Xigbar. And if you hit me, I'm gonna eat you." Xigbar growled at Roxas and then bit the boy's shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!." Roxas kicked Xigbar in the crotch. Xigbar fell on the floor, holding his crotch in pain. Now he goes and talks to the blond-haired girl.

"Eww. You're awake?" The girl says.

"Eww, you're alive?" Roxas said.

"Roxas!" The red-haired guy walked up.

".............." Roxas goes distant and walked up to the blue-haired guy.

"Today's an important meeting.....I expect everyone to be on time." The guy says.

"Why? Isn't everyone here and being lazy." Roxas said.

"Sure......" the guy falls out and starts convulsing."OR DIEZ!"

"Heeeey Roxas!" the red head said.

"..............................." Roxas has a depressing look on his face suddenly.

"Chatter box, what do you need?" Axel asked.

"............" still no words, but he did fart.

"What the heck!"

"&*^GI&YG*&^&*F&*F" Roxas foamed at the mouth and his head starts spinning.

"Oh my god...O . O" Axel vomits on roxas.

They leave. The player wonders what in the hell in happened.

They are all sitting on top of chairs too high to feel anywhere near safe.

"Good tidings, Akbar is dead and we have a new member." One said.

"We do we need one?"

'Why are you talking like a 80s nerd?" Roxas asked.

"For no reason."

A girl appears on the floor.

"She has big boobs." Roxas said.

"IIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD." They guy said.

"Cocks....Pussies....Privates.....I LOVE DEM!" A old guy yelled. He is in the lowest chair, which means he's lame.

"KILL IT!" A pair of imps drag the guy away.

In Roxas' mind...

After surviving the first seven days of retardation, I am alive. I'm slightly constipated and I think i'm a werewolf because a racoon-man bit me.

"I AIN'T NO FUCKING RACOON!" Xigbar shouted.

"Shut up, I'm thinking and I'm in my mindz!" Roxas shrieked.

As i was thinking, oh wait, i'm out of time.

**DAY 8**

We don't know what fuck happened but Roxas appeared and started walking into the room of laziness, where Saix was just standing in and walked up to him. "Roxas, your work begins today." Saix said. "I will tell you what to do, and you will do it."

"Why?" Roxas asks.

"Because I said so."

"Okay."

Saix talked for a few minutes about nothing.

"Okay, get the hell away from me." Saix finally said.

"FINE!" Roxas yelled.

"Axel will help you."

"I don't want to." Axel yells from across the large room.

"THE CEILING OF THIS ROOM IS TOO GODDAMN HIGH!" Roxas screamed.

Then another tutorial shows up and blocks roxas' path.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Roxas beats the thing down.

"STOP SCREAMING!" A purple haired dude screamed. Roxas suddenly flys into the wall. He gets back up like nothing happened and walks up to the girl with boobs.

"You've got big boobs." Roxas said.

"........" Nothing.

"SHUT UP!" Roxas smacked the girl and she vomited on him."Oh GOD! SAIX!"

"You go work, foo." Saix says.

And Roxas is dragged into a black hole by Axel and they appear in some city. A magic title appears on a flash of light before the camera goes to wher they are.

"It is too damn bright here!" roxas said.

"This be Twilight Town." Axel said.

They wander through town for no reason until Roxas falls down a tunnel and magically fucked up into where they needed to be in the first place.

"What the hell are we doing here?" Roxas asked.

"We are here to strip." Axel starts to unzip his coat.

"WHAT THE FUCK NO!" Roxas kicked Axel in the face.

"Ow." Axel jumps up some platforms."Get this!"

Roxas jumps up there.

"Damn you."

"Is this all?" Roxas said.

"Don't think all you have to do in a mission is run and jump like Mario."

"Damn."

"It's a me, MARIO." MArio says.

Then bear proceed to eat MArio.

"You have to BE AWARE!"

A tiny trains runs over Axel from behind.

"Be aware of that."

Now they walk around until Roxas sees boring colored lines. He trys to walk past but he runs into a force field.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Roxas starts bashing his head on the force field.

"No little boy, you go find the tresure chest."

"That's all?" Roxas said.

"Yeah, Don't hurt your brain now."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Roxas walked away.

10 fucking looooong hours later, Roxas finds the chest. The player is getting really bored.

"Now what." Roxas asked.

"What the hell do you think? Open it dumbass." Axel slapped Roxas.

Roxas stands in front of the treasure chest and kicks it wide open. Two exclamation marks appear above the chest. It grows teeth and jumps on Roxas' head.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Roxas screeched.

Roxas starts banging his head on the nearby wall.

"I HATE THIS MUSIC!"

"Shut up."

Due to Roxas' smaller brain, It takes them 40 minutes to find the portal.

They appear on the clock tower that is too dang high. They sit there and watch the sunset for god knows how long.

"Here." Axel hands Roxas some sea-salt icecream.

"I don't want it." Roxas smacks it out of Axel's hand. It falls and bashes some guy.

"OW!"

Three seconds later...

"Wanna leave?" Axel asked.

"Sure." And they leave.

Inside Roxas' Mind....

I have no idea what I'm doing. All I did was find a chest that ate my brain today. And I think the racoon-man is my father.

"I FUCKING TOLD YOu!" Xigbar shrieked.

And they got into a fight.

"Where's Xemnas?" Saix asked.

"In his office." Lexaeus said.

Xemnas is in his office playing with some ducks made out of yarn.

"(Talking for DUCK 1) I luv youuuu." Xemnas cooed."(Talking for DUCK 2) But I'm married...(DUCK 1) Then let's have sex-"

Lexaeus opened the door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Xemnas screamed and flung the ducks into the wall.

WHAM! CRASH!

The ducks knock down a picture.

"Superior?"

"WHAT?" Xemnas screeched.

"Xigbar and Roxas are fighting."

"I DON'T CARE!" Xemnas threw a rock at Lexaeus.

By, now, Xigbar has turned into a werewolf and eaten Roxas.

"SHIT!" Saix screamed." YOU SPIT ROXAS OUT NOW!"

"MMMNNNN.."Xigbar shook his head.

"NOW!" Saix smacked Xigbar in the throat with his claymore.

Roxas flys out of Xigbar's mouth, covered in spit.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU, DADDY!" Roxas shrieked.

"I AIN't YOUR DADDY, RETARD!" Xigbar screamed.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

Review please!


	2. Days 9, 10, and 11

**DAY 9**

Again, Roxas appears outside the Room of Laziness , where almost everyone is on a daily basis for no reason. Saix is waiting for him again.

"Marluxia will be your partner today." Saix coughed. There is a person with pink hair beside him.

"Is he a girl or a boy?" Roxas asked.

"Boy..." Saix said.

"Let's see." Roxas kicks the pink-haired person in the crotch. They fall down in pain.

Then, Roxas walks off. There's two blond haired peoples. One looks old as hell. He walks up to the blond-haired boy sitting in a chair.

"Hiya, I'm Demyx." Demyx says.

"What the fuck is that? It looks like a cock." Roxas says.

"It's a sitar, for your information."

"Yeah, I'll be sure to remember that useless information." Roxas gives Demyx the finger and walks up to the old man in the corner who seems to be having a migraine.

"Sup old man." Roxas says.

"Ooh, a little boy, and he has the keyblade. How wonderfulz...I"M A GENIUS, I BE SMARTER THANZ YOU ALLZ! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!N I"LL KILL YOU ALLZ! COME HAVE SEX WITH ME, LITTLE BOY!" The man shrieks. He gives Roxas a creepy smile.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, PEDOPHILE RAPIST!" Roxas summoned his keyblade. "WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK!"

Roxas' keyblade is now a box of capt'n' crunch cereal.

"Oh well."

Roxas beats the hell out of Vexen.

"Oh my hip, my hip, my only hip!" Vexen screamed.

Roxas runs up to Saix, who is turned around and seems to be smoking?

"What the hell are you doing?" Roxas asked."Is that weed? Or crack?"

"It nothing..." Saix turned around. His eyes are red."It's my inhaler. I have asthma." He coughs.

"STOP LYING, THAT'S WEED!" Roxas smacks Saix."Are you retarded!"

"I'm not retarded and it's not weedz... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!" Saix starts screeching at the top of his lungs and running around.

"Yep. He's on crack." Roxas sighed.

"C'mon." Marluxia drags Roxas through a portal.

"NOOOOOO!" Roxas screams.

There appear in what is called a sandlot, despite the fact that there is no sand in sight. Some giant ants on crack come out of the ground like zombies.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Roxas puts Marluxia in front of him.

"Kill them." Marluxia says.

"You have crack? PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE CRACK!" One ant asks.

"YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MEH! I HAVE NO CRACK! THAT'S SAIX!" Roxas screams.

"HE has no crack!" The ants start screaming as Roxas uses Marluxia to beat them into the ground.

"GGRRRHIIIIIISSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSS!" Roxas starts foaming at the mouth.

"IT'S THE DEVIl!" Hayner screams.

Then Hades come and drags him into the ground.

'By the way, I'm Marluxia. Could I trouble you for a glass of water?" Marluxia asks.

"You can trouble me for a glass of shut the hell up." Roxas bit Marluxia and tore his ear off.

'WHAT THE CRAP, MAN?"

"SHUT UP!"

"The heartless are called Crackaskerforers." Marluxia starts scratching his crotch.

"I know that. AND STOP THAT!" Roxas pulls out a Rocket laucher and blows Marly up. Blood goes everywhere."I guess I'm done."

Roxas portals to the castle, leaving the hundreds to random heartless to kill everything.

Inside Roxas' Mind Diary...

I found out Organization's goal. TO GET PIE. Or was it hearts? I don't give a shit.

**DAY 10**

A the purple haired guy comes up.

"You will work with me." Zexion said.

"Okay, Emo." Roxas says.

"I'm not emo..." Zexion hisses.

They leave and appear somewhere else in the retarded and too damn bright city.

"You defeat seven heartless and I won't kill you."

"Shut up." Roxas smacks Zexion.

They kill heartless until they come to a flower heartless.

"Hey a flower." Roxas says.

"FUCK OFF!" The plant yells and shoots a seed at Roxas.

"HELL NO!" Roxas jumps on the plants and stomps it.

"You're supposed to kill heartless with your keybox." Zexion says.

"I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU WITHA KEYBOX!" Roxas screeches.

Now the mission bar fills halfway despite they only killed 3 heartless.

"I'm done, emo turd. I killed them all, DO I GET TO BE HIGHLANDER NOW?" Roxas asks.

"Hell no. Apply yourself, young padawan." ZExion says.

'This ain't Star Wars, dumbass. Let's get the fuck outta here."

"There are still heartless around. They kill people." Zexion crys.

"So they can kill an entire planet and fuck up the universe. I'm immortal. I don't care!" Roxas leaves.

"I'm not emo..." Zexion starts crying and gives himself papercuts.

"Retard." A Shadow says, smoking crack. The heartless smacked Zexion.

Roxas' Mind Diary...

I'm a Nobody and I have no heart. BUT I'm INVINSIBLE AND IMMORTAL! MWAHAHAHA!"

**DAY 11**

"Roxy...Larxene..partner.." Saix passes out.

"Retard." Roxas kicks Saix's body. The player is questioning whether this is really a kids game.

"Are you Larxene?" Roxas asks Xigbar.

'HELL NO! I'm gonna eat you soon." Xigbar says.

Roxas sees the same old man in the corner.

"Can I hit you?" Roxas asks Vexen.

"Heehee...Cocks...Interesting...Tasty cum...So much to inspect...Dissect.." Vexen murmurs.

"That's a yes." Roxas shanks Vexen with a knife.

Vexen falls out and Roxas goes to Saix. Roxas watches Saix pull out a bag of leaves and stuff them in his 'inhaler'.

"I SEE YOU DOING POT!" Roxas yells.

"IT'S NOT POT! IT'S MARAJUANA! I NEED IT FOR MY EYES!" Saix screams."I HAVE A CONDITION!"

'No, it's pot." Xigbar says.

"How do you know?" Roxas put his hands on his hips.

"I've smoked it. It's pot." Xigbar let's loose a horrible stream of coughs. The coughs of a drug addict. Or a Werewolf with the WereFlu. Or both. And, then Xigbar started coughing up blood.

"Eeeeew. Are you a drug addict?" Roxas asks.

"I think so...i don remember much after smoking pot."

"Are you sick?" Roxas asks.

"Yeah, I have WereFlu."

"SHUT UP!" Saix smacked Xigbar.

"GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! MWRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Xigbar goes Werewolf and mauls Saix. And then Roxas goes Werewolf and mauls Saix.

"Me go leave now." Roxas portals to the Sandlot.

"TURD!"

"OH LORDY! NINJA!" Roxas screams and jumped away. He summons his keybox, the magic box of cereal weapon.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Larxene yells.

"A NINJA IS A JAPANESE ASSASIN RETARD." Roxas states in a loud voice.

"Shut up." Larxene smacks Roxas."This is the worst. I have to take care of a baby."

"I ain't a baby. I can get you fucking pregnant." Roxas says.

'What? WHAT?" Larxene starts sparking.

"I'll use some goddamn magic...FIYAH!" Roxas held his hand out and a ball of fire shot out. It burned Larxene.

"Ugh..." Larxene passes out.

"HOW'S THAT FOR MAGIC? TAKE THAT BITCH!" Roxas says."Well, I guess I'm done."

Roxas leaves Larxene, who is eaten by a pack of random bears.

Inside Roxas' Mind Diary...

Everything I've been told is retarded. I hope to god, that I don't have a 'mission' with that old pedophile. And I'm a Werewolf.

Roxas starts coughing up blood and sneezing.

O god, Xigbar gave me WereFlu. DAMN HIM!

"DAMN YOURSELF!" Xigbar yells.

Then Roxas and Xigbar turn into Werewolves and start tearing each other apart.

Review please!


	3. Days 12, 13, and 14

**DAY 12**

Roxas appears in the rightly-named Room of Laziness.

"What kind of nonsense am I gonna do today..." Roxas wonders while he walks up to Larxene.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Larxene screams."GO BANG YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE GLASS!"

"HELL NO!" Roxas takes Larxene and starts slamming her head into the wall for a few minutes before he walks up to Demyx.

"Man, why is Larxene such a bitch?" Demyx asks.

"I think she PMS's all the time." Roxas says.

"Yeah."

Then Roxas goes up to Vexen, who he shanks with a knife.

Then Roxas leaves.

"HEY WAIT!" Vexen yells.

Roxas appears in Twilight Town, followed by Vexen.

"What do you want?" Roxas asks."And am I ever gonna go on a mission to another world?"

"Listen, you little dummy. Your mission is reconnaissance." Vexen says.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? IS THAT SOME TYPE OF WEIRD SEX ACT, CAUSE I WILL BEAT YOUR OLD ASS!" Roxas screams.

"No, it isn't! Good thing I'm here to stimulate that insensate mind of yours."

Roxas slaps Vexen.

"I'm not insensate." Roxas says.

"ANYWAYS," Vexen hisses."Look around and report anything unusua-"

Roxas has run away somewhere.

"Damn."

Vexen waits for two hours. Then he pulls a cellphone out of his pocket and lays it on the ground. He goes and hides behind one of the many stupidly-shaped buildings.

Roxas randomly walks from out of a tunnel.

"I found a phone!" Roxas yells."Now I can make lots of expensive long-distance calls!"

"Yesss..."Vexen mumbles."He fell right into my trap...All little kids love cellphones and video games!"

Vexen is talking extremely loud but for some reason, Roxas can't hear him.

"Now operation Cyber Penpal begins!" Vexen shouts."VIVA LA SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL! All I have to do is send a message and he''ll be putty in my hands.(creepy laugh) I've had this phone for 10 years and this is the first message I've sent. I'm getting nervous..."

Vexen pulls up the text message page on his phone."What are all this emoticons? Are they somekind of code? Eh?" Vexen looks down beside him.

"Well." Roxas screams."IM NOT STUPID! IM NOT STUUUUUUUUUUUUPPIIIDDDDDD!"

Roxas summoned his keybox and beat up Vexen.

"Ughh..."

Roxas starts yelling various complaints.

5 hours later...

"A road leads into that building and it's not possible!..that shop sells jewelry...tiles..."

"SHUT UP!"

"FINE!"

"Stupid old fart...With bad hair and breath.." Roxas mumbles and portals away.

"As soon as you think I'm out of the picture your start dissing me!" Vexen crys.

"SWAWK!" A large bird picked Vexen up and carries him away.

Inside Roxas' Mind...

I hate that old pedophile. I hope he dies. I also learned that I can use darkness to travel. I wonder if i can give my self oral with the portals?

**DAY 13**

"I decided that you will work with Lexaeus." Saix says.

"I thought Xemnas was our leader? WHAT, are you going commando or something?" Roxas says. Then he walks up to Lexaeus.

"Meh..." Lexaeus says in a deep voice.

"Goddam, you are HUGE! How big is your cock?" Roxas gasps.

Lexaeus pulls down his pants and underwear.

"Oh god..." Roxas starts vomiting. He vomits on Zexion as he is walking away.

"What the hell?"

He also vomits on Saix, who is passed out on the floor with his 'inhaler' and a bag of leaves, which Roxas steals.

"Call...911...Maluxia." Roxas pants.

"Fine..."

Roxas and Lexaeus leave.

They end up in the sandlot.

"..." Lexaeus says.

"Um..Hey, dummy!" Roxas yells."You gonna talk yet?"

"Do you know what limit break is?" Lexaeus questions.

"No, dummy, I CAME HERE TO LEARN! YOU HAVEN'T TAUGHT ME ANYTHING! YOU'RE A BAD TEACHER!" Roxas screams.

"It is a move...it comes when you on last legs..."

A fucking huge heartless appears.

"WHAT DA FUCK!" Roxas shouts.

"Time...TO DUEL." Lexaeus says dramaticly.

"OhTHIS ISN'T Yu-GI-Wait, what?" Roxas looks at Lexaeus.

WHAM!

Lexaeus back-hands the shit out of Roxas, who flys into the wall.

"WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!" Roxas shrieks."MGGGRRRRRRR..."

Fire and foam starts shooting out of Roxas' mouth, while his head turns slowly.

"Oh damn." The Heartless leaves.

"Okaaaay O . o." Lexaeus stares at Roxas.

"I grant ya, lightning." Hades says.

Roxas stands and shoots a blue bolt of lightning from his hand, which hits Lexaeus, and slams him into one of the benches some distance across the cheap sandlot.

"IT'S A DEMON! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHH!" Lexaeus screams like a female-version of Courage the Cowardly Dog.

"JBKUHGI^R^%&ED&U%*(UF*Y(*&^F&DG*DUF!" Roxas starts cussing.

'WHAT THE CUSS?" Lexaeus says.

"ARE YOU CUSSING WITH ME?" Roxas screams.

"No..." Lexaeus whimpers.'Don't eat meh..."

"LEXAEUS!" The police show up.

'What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lexaeus starts screaming at the top of his lungs.

"GET HIM." The police tie Lexaeus up and start dragging him away.

"NEVA! GET OFFA MEH! IUGY*)O&%(&D^FR&DR&FD&DTD" Lexaeus starts shouting things.

The police shove Lexaeus into a car for retarded peoples. And they drive away.

"AIJHLIUNNNNNNNN NNNNAAAAAHHHHHH HHHHHHHH!" Roxas starts shooting bolts of lightning from his hands which start destroying everything.

Burning buildings fall down and crash all over the place and burning people run around.

Roxas turns to normal and leaves.

Inside Roxas' Mind...

I destroyed Twilight Town and made Lexaeus be carried away. He is a bad teacher. I can also shoot lightning from my hands. YAY!

**DAY 14**

"Rox-GAH!" Roxas punches Axel in his kidneys and walks off.

"TRA-LA-LA, PLUUUUUUSSS." Demyx is singing.

"DEMYX." Roxas says.

"Uh, wh-what?" Demyx stutters.

"What are you singing?" Roxas asks.

"I-I was just making it up as i went along, really." Demyx shrugs.

"That's a weak song. THAT'S BAD SONG WRITING!" Roxas throws his cigarette at Demyx."YOU WROTE A BAD SONG, DEMYX!"

"Uh." Demyx just looks at the cigarette. It sets him on fire."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Demyx runs around until he slams into the glass.

"What are you looking at?" Larxene asks. Roxas is drooling and staring at her big boobs."Dream on, pipsqueak. Get lost."

Roxas slaps Larxene.

"EVERYONE, REPORT TO MY OFFICE IMMEDIATLY." Xemnas says over some intercoms.

'GOD!" Roxas yells.

Everyone portals to the meeting room.

"I have intel that some of you have been maliciously mauling and destroying various thing on various worlds." Xemnas says.

"YOU HAVE NO PROOF!" Roxas shouts.

"Be quiet!" Luxord says.

"I don't know you like that, so don't tell me what to do!" Roxas growls at Luxord.

"Well, okay then."

"Is this true?" Xemnas asks.

"NO!" Xigbar yells.

"If you are, may I remind you of what happened a few years ago?" Xemnas presses a button on his chair.

"OH GOD, THIS OLD FOOL IS SHOWING US HOME MOVIES!" Axel screams.

"Get him!" Xigbar orders Roxas.

Roxas jumps on Xemnas and starts beating him with his keybox.

"WHAT THE? STOP STOP IT! !" Xemnas shrieks.

"I'm leaving on my mission!" Roxas yells.

Axel and Roxas arrive in Twilight Town, in the middle of a three way intersection type thing.

"Our second mssion together..." Axel says suductively.

"OH SHUT THE FUCK Up, Let's get it over with." Roxas says.

"You are so cold..." Axel shivers.

They run up a ramp and some Crackaskerforers appear.

"Well damn!" Axel looks at Roxas.

"Crac-" One ant asks but is cut off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Roxas bashes the Crackaskerforers to death with his keybox.

They go through the ark and a black screen appears. The player hopes the game is done. It isn't. The player watches Axel and Roxas run up another hill in the weird town.

Then, the air glows purple and Axel and Roxas are boxed in a small area.

"WHAT THE HELL! LEMME OUT!" Roxas bangs on the somewhat invisible walls.

"Roxas..."

The tantrum continues.

"Roxas."

More screaming...

"ROXAS!" Axel screams.

"WHAT?" Roxas whirls around.

Axel points and some yellow tringle shaped thing appear, along with some black balls of smoke with eyes.

"What the crap? Ghosts and Buckets." Roxas sighs and shakes his head."Either the producers are crack heads, they eat paint chips, they ran out of good ideas, or all they had to make this game with was 5 dollars."

"Just fight and stop complaining." Axel slaps Roxas.

"GOD, FINE!" Roxas yells. He holds his hand out and shoots lightning out of his hands.

'I'm DIEIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!" The black balls of smoke cry.

They Heartless explode and blood covers Roxas and Axel.

"Well..." Axel says."Anyway, those were Smoke Balls..."

"Are you implying the other half of the male sex parts?" Roxas asks.

"Yes, yes I am. The other were Yellow buckets."

"(yeah...they eat paint and they ran out of good ideas)" Roxas thinks."YOU DIDN'T HELP MUCH!" Roxas smacks Axel.

"It's not my mission..." Axel whimpers.

They continue up the cheap pathway, until they get to the outside of the train station. Of course, some random Heartless appear. They are Yellow Buckets.

"OH GOD!" Roxas exclaims." First that dumb old man Xemnas, now these retards."

"We're not retarded, we are epileptic." One Yellow Bucket says.

The Heartless die of epileptic seizures. Now some red and black buckets appear.

"Those happen to be-" Axel is cut off.

"SHUT UP!" Roxas shouts."I'LL FIND OUT LATER IN THE MONSTER DATABASE THAT IS IN MY ACTUAL DIARY!"

WHAM!

A ball of fire hits Roxas and knocks him down.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Roxas jumps us."WHO DID THAT! I WANT NAMES!"

The first red and black buckets laughs.

"I d-"

It explodes after being hit by lightning.

"Where'd you learn that?" Axel asks.

"FROM YA MOMMA!" Roxas blasts Axel with some lightning. Axel slams through the glass doors of the train statiion.

"Goddamn..."Axel groans.

"Oh shit." The other bucket says.

"DIE MOTHERFUCKER!" Roxas chops the Heartless in half in a dramatic, slow-motion move.

"Why can't I do that?" Stewie from Family Guyyells."It's your fault Peter!"

Stewie starts beating Peter with a baseball bat.

Axel miraculously gets up, unhurt, and they backtrack all the way back to the portal.

"Why can't the portal ever come us?" Roxas complains for an hour.

"Oh, Roxas, Roxas...Let's go-" Axel says.

"NO SEX!"

"Okay-"

Again Axel is inturrupted. A blond haired boy runs up, doesn't see them despite the fact that he looks right at them, and turns around.

"MOVE YOUR FAT ASS, PENCE!" Hayner yells.

"What the hell, man..." A fat kid with brown hair runs up.

"You get to buy meh ice cream, bitches." Hayner laughs.

"Now you tell us, Dickhead." Ollette says.

"SHUT UP!" Hayner slaps Ollette.

"Her name is spelled like omlette." Roxas says.

"No fair." Pence says.

Appearently, these children are blind, because they haven't seen Roxas or Axel.

"Let's get some icecream." Axel says.

"Fine, if it'll make you shut up." Roxas says.

They have icecream. The player is glad they don't have to see the scene.

Review please! Organization Gone Retarded 2 will be updated in about a day.


End file.
